As I reflected on this chapter, I thought about my role as a parent and also and educator. I am completely on board with the concept of unstructured play when students are outside of the classroom. I believe a true partnership with parents can develop students who are genuine innovators. Today’s young people are not encouraged to go outside and play. They have the mindset of wanting to be entertained continually. Imagination is being lost in-between Sponge Bob and Family Guy. I hear students groan with “extra recess” and the repeated “I’m tired” comments of the day. This is a drastic change from 25 years ago when we prayed the teacher would forget what time we needed to go back inside.
I believe school and home should be a partnership with a unified vision, but visions are only successful when everyone is on board. I’ve noticed that parenting seems to have 2 extremes: parents that freak out over mistakes, “because my child has always been straight A’s” or the parents who schedule a conference and then never show up. This month I have been amazed at the parents who are frustrated because they want more worksheet, busy work homework. Daily, I send a parent email with details of what happened and questions they can ask their child. I usually include vocabulary and tell parents to have students retell stories. I would much rather encourage parents to communicate with their child and ask them to describe what they are learning, than complete a worksheet to add to the plethora of papers on my desk.
Ultimately, humans usually repeat what they know and are comfortable with, because it is safe. Parents seem to expect to see a repeat of what they did in school and if mom was all A’s then that is the expectation for their children. If both parents are busy with their work and life, the pressure of discussions or listening to your child read becomes less important than paying the bills. The rush and pull of everything in life seems to make it OK for a child to just “go watch TV.” Listening to my sweet eight year olds, I have very few who really experience the unstructured play when they go home.
Although, these examples are from middle class homes and experienced some of the same parenting styles; the kids had intrinsic motivation. Yes, the parents were guiding their children and allowing them to have meaningful experiences; but the teenagers or young adults were not satisfied. It is ultimately the individual who determines their path in life. Parents and educators can guide, make suggestions, and provide experiences, but the student has to have the desire for change.
I am very in tune with your thoughts on Wagner and the concept of parenting. This is only one example of how someone blossomed under this type of parenting. I don't necessarily believe that he is right or wrong but I think that this worked for him. Not all people respond to this type of education. I encourage my own children to think for themselves and explore what they like to do and I hope that as parents we all do what is best for our children and as teachers we remember to do the same. You are so right when you say that it is ultimately the student who has to have the desire.
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